The scariest part of creation for me is not putting myself out there, their responsibility that comes with it, or the fear of failure.
It’s the knowing that I am in the process of becoming wildly visible for the sake of my mission, and that invisibility means everyone’s eyes can see me… even the eyes that I want never to see me again.
I slipped on my heels and started walking into the grocery store. They clicked loudly against the tile as I walked at one and a half times my normal pace to keep up with my almost 18-year-old.
It felt amazing though.
Lately I’ve either been barefoot in the grass exemplifying my earthy enchanted sorceress or in heels exemplifying the power of feminine wisdom and leadership. No in between.
So the headmistress of InSoma Institute, embodying her full magic, walked into the grocery store, accompanied her trying to pick out a sub, and on the way to grab dessert walked right into the same aisle as her abuser.
As I made the fastest, yet calmest exit in grocery store history, I found myself hyper aware of every way in which I was not just visible but exposed. I watched myself note every person I could run to, every fixture I could hide behind, and rapid analyze every person who came out of the store behind me.
But what stood out to me most was the way my mind drifted to the truth about where most visibility wounds come from… because for most women, the panic in the body comes from more than just stage fright.
In becoming truly visible and stepping into the spotlight of creative leadership, you enter an energy that radiates out in a way that draws eyes in your direction, and it doesn’t discriminate on who’s eyes it draws. The celebrations, the neutral observers, and the dangerous all turn their heads at the same time and the body says “NOT SAFE.”
It tries to pull you back into the hiding place. Masks of plainness, facades of normalcy, the guise of someone who blends in and follows the path society has laid before them.
It tells you it’s just anxiety, that you just don’t like social media, that you’re just worried you’re not ready, that you just need to learn more or perfect your message… but it’s really just protection at its most visceral form, morphed so you won’t try to remove it.
But the moment you do… you gain access to the kind of magic that leads you to unlimited possibility.
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